Windows to Memories
by jmbrowning1112
Summary: An accident on a mission has separated Logan from his family. A short story about him finding his way back to them and restoring the bond between him and his wife and children. L/M (Strictly Rogan); some Remy/Jubilee too. Enjoy :) Disclaimer: I own nothing.
1. Chapter 1

Logan sat in a booth at the bar following his fight, two blond groupies on each side of him trying to get him to go back to their hotel rooms, when Remy walked in carrying the package he had promised to deliver to him. Catching sight of Logan Remy walked up to the bar and gestured for the bartender to come over.

"What can I do for you, son?" the bartender asked Remy.

"You see that man over there with the blonds?" Remy asked him without looking over at Logan.

"Yeah, he just won the fighting tournament," the bartender smiled. He had won a good three hundred bucks that night because of the large dark-haired man. "What about him?"

"I need you to give him this package," Remy replied setting the brown paper package down on the counter.

"Who do I say it's from?" the bartender picked it up and felt a bit relieved that it wasn't solid or heavy enough to be a bomb or a gun.

"Just a friend," Remy replied. "I'll be watching too so you better give it to him just as it is. It's personal."

"All right, son," the bartender walked off toward Logan. "Be back in a minute."

The bartender reached Logan's table and set the package down just as Remy walked out the door. Logan looked at it then back at the bartender with a questioning brow.

"What's this?" Logan asked.

"A man came in and said to give this to you, that it's personal," the bartender turned to see if Remy was still there but he wasn't so he turned back to Logan with a shrug.

Logan picked it up and opened it, taking out the plastic bag marked 'Personal Effects' out and dumping the contents on the table. There was a silver wedding band, a black leather wallet, a packet of photos and a Canadian passport. Logan picked up the wedding band first and inspected it. Engraved on the inside was _'To Logan, my soul mate, love Marie'_.

"Are you married?" one of the blonds asked him as he tried the ring on his finger. It fit perfectly.

He ignored her and opened the wallet. His driver's license and some credit cards were in it, there were about two hundred US dollars and three hundred Canadian pounds inside. Logan picked up the photo packet next and opened it. Logan took out each photo and inspected them one by one in order.

The first one was a beautiful dark-haired young woman smiling, two platinum streaks in her hair, sitting in a tree swing wearing a forest green sundress and bare-footed. A creek ran beside her in what looked like the mountains and a huge log cabin was standing in the background. It looked to be summer. Logan felt his chest tighten looking at her. Her green eyes matched the dress she wore and seemed so alive and happy that it took his breath away. She was by far the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Turning over the photo he read the inscription, _'Marie at our cabin; Elk Valley, East Kootenay British Columbia, summer 2004'._

The second photo made Logan pale in shock. It was his wedding day. He stood in a black tuxedo next to the same woman gowned in a beautiful white dress, little red and white rosebuds and pearls adorning her long curls down her back and they were looking at each other instead of the photographer. They stood under a cedar wood altar covered in red and white roses and green ivy in what looked like an outdoor garden. It seemed to be either spring or summer from the weather and the amount of flowers and trees in bloom. Logan had never seen himself look so happy. He was grinning at her and had one arm wrapped around her waist while his other hand held hers with their fingers entwined. She gazed up at him with an adoring grin and had one of her arms resting on his shoulders around his neck. He turned the photo over and read, _'Our wedding day; Logan & Marie; May 15, 2005'._

Logan's breath caught in his throat when he came to the third photo. It was a candid photo of him and her but she looked to be about seven or eight months pregnant and they were sitting together under a tree facing the creek, his back against the tree and her sitting between his legs, his arms wrapped around her, his hands resting on her belly and her hands on top of his. They looked so content and peaceful. He was kissing the side of her neck and she was smiling. He could make out their wedding bands on their left hands. He turned it over and read, _'Logan, Marie and baby makes three; October 2005'. _

He paused now, not sure he wanted to look at the others. What had happened to him to make him forget his wife and baby? Had they divorced? Had she died? Had they lost the baby? Logan took a deep breath and a long swallow of beer before he picked up the next photo.

The most beautiful baby boy ever stared back at him. He recognized his own hazel eyes and dark hair, his mouth and her nose and arched brows on the baby before him. He looked to be about a month old in the photo. Marie was lying on the bed beside the baby and smiling down at him. He was dressed in a blue onesie and Logan could swear that the baby was smiling at the photographer too and looking right at him. He turned the photo over and read, _'James "Jamie" Logan Howlett II; born December 20, 2005, one month old.' _

"Jamie," Logan whispered the name and it felt so familiar. This was his son. He was a daddy. He looked at the next photo and saw it was the same baby boy but he was about ten months old in this one and standing in between Logan's legs squatting down behind him, Logan's left hand supporting the little boy on his belly. The little boy wore little jeans and a long-sleeved plaid flannel button-down shirt that nearly matched the one that his father wore. They both had on similar cowboy boots too. Jamie was pointing at something to the right of him and Logan was grinning at whoever was taking the photo. They were next to that tree with the swing next to the creek again. It looked to be fall. On the back Logan read, '_Jamie and Daddy at the cabin, Fall 2006; eleven months old.'_

The next photo was of a very pregnant Marie, a two year old Jamie and Logan all asleep on a large leather couch in what looked like the living room of the cabin. A fire roared nearby and Logan had Marie lying back against him and Jamie resting on his mother's belly between her legs. A quilt covered the three of them. Turning over the back he read, '_Taken by Aunt Jubilee; Christmas 2007 at the cabin; Daddy, Mama, Jamie and one more on the way.' _

Logan took a deep breath before looking at the next photo. Then his breath caught in his chest as he stared at his daughter. There was no mistaking it, she was the most beautiful baby girl ever born and looked like her mother. She had his hazel colored eyes but they were shaped like her mother's as were her other features. She had dark hair like her brother. He was holding her cradled in his arms protectively. She wore a little white dress with pink roses and matching pink booties. He was staring down at her with the most peaceful smile Logan had never thought his self capable of. She was looking at whoever took the photo, her wide eyes taking in every detail they saw. He turned it over and read, '_Grace Marie Howlett, born February 21, 2008; one month old.'_

He looked at the next photo and it was Marie with Jamie and Grace about nine months later. They were at the cabin again and it was late fall, early winter. Marie sat on a porch swing with Grace sitting in her lap and Jamie snuggled up on her right side, her right arm around him, a quilt covering their legs keeping them warm and they were smiling adoringly at whoever was taking the photo. The back read, '_Mama, Jamie and Gracie at the cabin; November 2008.'_

Logan picked up the next one and felt his chest tighten again. It was him and Marie slow-dancing in the kitchen at the cabin. There was another man, tall and dark-haired, in the background holding a two year old Grace and both grinning as they watched Logan and Marie dancing together. For their part, the couple seemed oblivious to their audience. They were holding each other tight and swaying to the music, looking into each other's eyes with knowing smiles. One of Logan's hands had drifted down to her backside possessively and she had one hand slipped into his back jeans pocket. She was also sporting a bit of a baby bump if he wasn't mistaken. He saw Jamie standing nearby leaning against the legs of a young Asian woman dressed in yellow. Both were grinning as the other man and Grace were watching the couple. Logan turned it over and read, '_Logan & Marie's five year anniversary party; taken by Kitty at the cabin; May 2010. (Daddy and Mama dancing/ Uncle Remy with Grace and Aunt Jubilee with Jamie)_

"That's the man that gave me the package," the bartender pointed to the man holding Grace. "He had a southern accent, kind of Cajun sounding."

Logan read the inscription again. His name was Remy. That rang a familiar bell too. They all did. It was only 2011 now. This was last year. Logan had a wife that he obviously adored and two beautiful children, ages five and three now, and somehow had forgotten them all. Wait, hadn't he noticed a baby bump on Marie? Yep, she was expecting again. At least she had been in May of last year.

He came to the next photo and smiled. It was one of the kids together. Jamie sat in a leather chair with Grace seated in front of him, his arms around her and both were grinning at the photographer. They were dressed warmly and at the cabin again. Logan saw him and Marie in both of them so clearly. They were happy and healthy and so beautiful that it made him ache to hold them. Grace's hair was long now, little curls at the ends. Jamie's hair was cut neatly, not too short but not too long. They both had hazel eyes like Logan; Jamie was practically a miniature copy of himself but they had their mother's sweetness, especially Gracie. The back of it read, _'Jamie, age 5, and Gracie, age 3; at the cabin January 2011.'_

Last month? This was taken a month ago. Where were they? If someone had his family, he would murder them all slowly and as painfully as he could manage it. Logan had been on the road, memory less for the past four months. Someone better have a damned good explanation as to where his wife and children were and why he wasn't with them.

Logan picked up the next photo and paused. He was in bed, shirtless and wearing a pair black pajama pants sort of propped up against a bunch of pillows against the king-sized headboard, a third baby (a boy if the blue romper was an indication) sleeping on his chest and Jamie and Gracie were sleeping on either side of them. He turned it over and read, _'Daddy, Jamie, Gracie sleeping with baby Nicholas "Nicky" Remy Howlett; November 2, 2010; Nicky's one month old.'_

They were out of order now. Logan cursed and picked up the last photo. It was of Marie and Nicky and looked more recent. Nicky looked more like Marie than Logan but had the same hazel eyes and dark hair. He was sitting in his mother's lap, dressed in a plaid flannel shirt and little jeans. Marie was sitting Indian style on a thick rug in front of the fireplace in the cabin's living room and didn't look happy at all to Logan. She looked sad and broken, her smile didn't reach anywhere near her eyes and she was resting her chin wearily on the baby boy's head as they looked at the photographer. Logan turned it over and read, '_Mama and Nicky, age five months old; January 2011.'_

"Where are they now?" Logan asked himself aloud.

"That's a beautiful family you've got there, son," the bartender said. "How come you're not with them?"

"That's a damn good question," Logan said angrily standing and putting the things away in his jacket pockets. He paid his tab then walked out and got on his bike. Where to start? Almost all the photos except for their wedding photo were at the cabin. Wait, the first one with Marie on the swing had the location written down on it. Logan took out that photo and read it again. _'Marie at our cabin; Elk Valley, East Kootenay British Columbia, summer 2004'. _Yep, that's where he was heading. They better be there too. He was in southern Alberta now. It wouldn't take long to reach them, Logan thought.

As Logan's motorcycle pulled away Remy watched from his car nearby and grinned to himself before taking out his cell phone and dialing the number to the cabin.

Marie was fixing dinner for her and the children when the phone rang. She had Nicky propped up on a hip and was stirring the rice when it rang and she went to it.

"Hello?" she answered looking at Jamie and Grace playing with their blocks nearby.

"Chere, it's Remy," he told her. "He's on his way to you."

"You gave him his things then," it wasn't a question. Remy was like Logan about keeping promises. He never broke one.

"He spent nearly two hours looking through the photos; put his ring on right away," Remy was pleased with the results. He knew Logan was a smart man. "I don't know if he remembers everything but he took off towards your direction in a hurry. I didn't let him see me, chere but I watched him. I hated to torture him like that with pictures of you and the babies but it had to be done. He's got responsibilities and a family to take care of. This letting him 'find his own way' shit had to stop."

"Thank you so much, Remy," Marie said fighting back tears. Logan was coming home. "You and Jubilee both; you're welcome here anytime you know."

"I know chere. I gotta go now. You call if there are any problems," Remy said firmly.

"I will," she promised. They hung up and Marie went back to fixing dinner.

A few hours later the kids were fed and bathed and after tucking Nicky and Gracie she was tucking her eldest into bed. Jamie looked so much like Logan she thought running her fingers over her son's hair and smiling at him as he finished reading her his bedtime storybook.

"Mama?" Jamie asked as he closed the book and handed it to her. She raised a brow in question while she set it on his night stand. "When is Daddy coming home?"

Marie didn't want to get his hopes up. Logan could up and change his mind halfway there for all she knew. So she just shook her head and said, "I don't know, baby. I hope soon. Daddy had some things to work out after the accident."

"But what if he's hurt or sick? We don't know where he is," Jamie argued. "Doesn't he love us anymore?"

That broke her heart. She shook her head firmly. "Jamie, your daddy loves you, Grace and Nicky more than anything in the whole world. You know that. Besides, what did Daddy tell you about knowing when one of you is sick or hurt?" she asked him.

"He'd know because of the blood link between us," Jamie answered. "You think I'd know if something was wrong with him?"

"You knew when he had the accident, didn't you? You and Grace and even Nicky cried, didn't you?" Marie asked and he nodded solemnly.

"It woke me up," he whispered, his young eyes ghosting over at the bad memory. Marie wished she could take that away from him. He shouldn't have to know something like that so young.

"Well there you have it," she hoped he couldn't hear her tears in her voice. She never cried in front of the children. She had to be strong for them and not show them how broken-hearted and lost she was without their father. It was what Logan would want, would expect from her. "Don't you worry about your daddy, sugar; he's tough. He'll come back home when he's ready."

Jamie nodded and hugged her tight before he lay back down. She kissed his forehead and smiled down at him as she stood. "Good night, Mama," he said closing his eyes.

"Sweet dreams, baby," she said and walked out to go downstairs and clean the kitchen.

It wasn't thirty minutes later that she heard the rumble of Logan's motorcycle coming down the gravel driveway to their cabin. She ran out onto the porch and saw him ride up and park in front of the garage. He got off and she fought every muscle in her body not to run to him and let him come to her. Good lord in heaven, he looked so good it made her heart pound in her chest and she was certain she had stopped breathing. About ten feet from the porch he stopped and looked up at her standing on the front step. For the longest moment they just stared at each other. Marie was at a loss at what to do, biting her bottom lip worriedly and her nails digging into her palms as she hugged her arms around herself.

Logan had spent the majority of the ride there in nearly unbearable pain as the memories he had lost flooded his brain again. He remembered it all; his life after waking up with adamantium claws, meeting her in Laughlin City, the fight with Magneto, the fight with Stryker, the fight with Phoenix, falling in love with Marie, making love with her, marrying her, the births of their children, and every little precious moment in between. He also remembered the X Men, life at the institute, the accident that had given him amnesia just a month after their third child was born, and everything he had done since waking up in a room with plastic walls strapped to a bed and escaping the place he now knew was the institute and taking off in search of he didn't know where.

Seeing her standing there and knowing she wanted so bad to rush to him but didn't know if he would let her, if he remembered her, broke his heart. He nearly smiled when she began biting her bottom lip as she always did when she was nervous and worried. Unable to wait any longer he held his hands to her and gestured for her to come to him.

"Come here, baby," Logan told her and that was all the encouragement she needed.

Marie launched herself off the porch and into his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist and kissed him with every pent-up emotion she had in her until he felt and tasted her tears falling down her cheeks into their mouths and broke the kiss to look at her.

"Oh god, Logan," Marie said running her fingers through his hair and over his cheek. "You don't know how worried I've been, sugar."

He groaned and kissed her again, whispering against her mouth, "It's so good to hear your voice again, darlin. It feels like it's been forever."

Logan held her tight in his arms, one arm around her waist and the other under her backside as he carried her inside the house and kicked the door shut behind them.

"But sugar, do you remember everything?" Marie asked him worriedly.

"Yeah, I remember," he said gently. "I don't know how I woke up alone in the med bay, though. Where were you and the children? Are they all right?"

"They're fine, honey. They're upstairs sleeping," she assured him. "The Professor and the others, except for Remy and Jubilee who were on their honeymoon, wouldn't let me and the kids see you. The Professor said that seeing us would traumatize you more and that you didn't remember us anyway. I couldn't do anything without leaving the children alone and I knew then that I couldn't trust anyone there anymore, Logan. So I took the children and came home to the cabin. I called Remy and Jubilee when I got here and they flew home. I heard Remy damn near killed Scott and threatened to kill the Professor when he found you had left and that they hadn't let me and the kids see you. I tried to tell them, Logan. I tried to explain that you and the kids have a blood link and you just needed to see them and smell them; and everything would be fine but they didn't believe me. They wouldn't listen. I didn't know what else to do."

"You did the right thing getting them out of there, baby and coming home," Logan assured her gently. On the inside, though he was mad enough to kill. How dare those fucking bastards keep his wife and kids from him? He would kill them all when he got a chance. "You told Remy to get that package to me."

"He did used to be a thief, you know?" she grinned wickedly and he couldn't help but grin back. "He broke into the Professor's safe and got your wallet, passport and wedding band. I gave him the photo packet and he went off to find you. It took him a while."

"He did, though," Logan owed a debt to that Cajun. He'd likely done it more for Marie and the kids than for Logan but he was a good friend and those were rare. "He and Jubilee are welcome here anytime. I'll have to think of a way to repay him for this."

"Baby, do you want to see the kids now?" Marie asked him softly. He nodded and set her on her feet before taking her hand and they walked upstairs. She stopped outside of Jamie's door and let go of his hand making him turn and look at her. "You go ahead, sugar. He's waited for you a while."

Logan nodded and opened the door then paused, seeing his eldest son sleeping nearby. He walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge then ran a hand over Jamie's hair. Marie stood in the doorway watching silently.

"Jamie," Logan said softly but loud enough to wake his son. "Wake up, son."

The boy stirred with a groan and opened his eyes slowly then they got wide and he sat up straight quickly. "Daddy!" Jamie exclaimed.

"Yeah, it's me chief," Logan laughed a little and then Jamie had hauled himself into his father's arms and was hugging him tight enough to cut off blood circulation. "Hey, it's okay, Jamie. I'm here."

Logan held his son close, breathing in his scent and thanked whoever was listening that he had his family back.

"Daddy, are you home for good? You're not leaving again?" Jamie pulled back looking more than worried; he looked scared to death. It pissed Logan off as much as it broke his heart to see it.

"I'm home to stay, Jamie," Logan said firmly. "I promise you nothing will take me away from you and your mama and sister and brother again. Not ever."

Jamie relaxed visibly and sank in relief in Logan's arms. He saw his mother standing in the doorway and grinned. "Mama, he's back and he's staying. He promised," he told her excitedly.

Marie walked over and ran a hand over the back of Logan's head as she smiled at her son in his arms. "I know, baby," she assured him and squeezing Logan's neck soothingly because she knew how hard this must be for him and how angry he was at those that had kept them apart.

Jamie got out of bed then and took the hands of both his parents to pull them towards the door. "We have to go wake up Grace and Nicky," he was so excited they couldn't help but laugh as he all but dragged them to Grace's room.

Logan grinned when his baby girl sat up in bed and glared at her big brother bouncing up and down excitedly. She looked so much like her mother just then.

"Gracie, look Daddy's home!" Jamie exclaimed and Grace's eyes followed his pointing finger to their father.

"Daddy," she whispered with shock then she grinned and ran over into Logan's arms. He lifted her up and hugged her tight, breathing in her scent as he had Jamie's. She held her little arms around her father's neck and he could feel the tears against his neck. "Missed you."

"I missed you too, sweetheart. Love you so much, pumpkin," Logan whispered to her. "I'm not gonna leave y'all again. I promise."

Marie left and got Nicky from the nursery then came back with him in her arms. Logan turned to look at them and smiled. He freed an arm and ran his fingertips over his baby son's head then bent down to kiss him gently.

"Hey little man, you got big," Logan said to the now wide awake Nicky. Jamie had come back over and had his arms wrapped around Logan's right leg and Grace still hadn't given up her spot in Daddy's arms. Looking at his children and then at Marie he felt so much pride and love that it nearly choked him with its strength. "You took such good care of our babies, darlin."

Marie grinned and lifted a hand to his cheek, running her thumb over his lips. "All I've ever wanted was to have a family with you, sugar. I love you so much, Logan," she said and he bent down and kissed her the next second.

"I love you too," he said into her mouth. Then he pulled back and looked at the kids around them. "Okay, you three need to get back in bed. It's late."

The protests from their eldest two started immediately. It was damn near impossible to explain to toddlers that Mama and Daddy needed some alone time now. Logan and Marie finally managed to get them back in bed though and were back in their bedroom alone an hour later.

"You want to join me in the shower?" Logan asked her as they walked in.

"Sure thing, sugar," Marie grinned and pushed him toward the bathroom. They divested each other of their clothes and got into the hot shower. After bathing and hair washing, along with the accompanying sensual touches and kisses that went along with it Logan's control slipped and he had her suddenly pressed against the shower wall, her legs around his waist and was about to enter her when he stopped cold.

He let her go and stepped back, bracing his hands on either side of her head. She looked at him through a haze of lust and confusion.

"Logan? Baby, what's wrong?" Marie asked him. The tortured look he gave her broke her heart. She caressed his cheeks and ran her hands along his chest to soothe him. "Tell me, honey."

"I was with other women, Marie. When I was gone, when I didn't remember - I don't deserve to touch you now. I feel dirty. I betrayed you, us, what we have," Logan explained brokenly. He didn't feel the tears that ran down his cheeks. The choking tightness in his chest and throat nearly brought him to his knees. "I'm so sorry, baby."

Seeing him torture himself like this was pure hell for her. She shook her head firmly and took his face in her hands to make him look at her. "Logan, listen to me. You weren't yourself then. You didn't remember me so you didn't knowingly betray me. I'm not going to hold that against you. It wouldn't be fair. I love you, Logan and I've needed you here. I've ached for you, Logan. You don't know how long I've waited to get you back, to have you in my arms again and be able to kiss and touch and make love to you again. It was hell, Logan. I'm not going through it anymore. I'll make you forget all those other women, Logan. I'll make you clean again. I promise. Just let me, sugar," she told him passionately, her own tears and voice breaking.

It did the trick, though because the next thing she knew Logan was kissing her fiercely and carrying her to the bed.


	2. Chapter 2

_{Previous chapter} – _

_Seeing him torture himself like this was pure hell for her. She shook her head firmly and took his face in her hands to make him look at her. "Logan, listen to me. You weren't yourself then. You didn't remember me so you didn't knowingly betray me. I'm not going to hold that against you. It wouldn't be fair. I love you, Logan and I've needed you here. I've ached for you, Logan. You don't know how long I've waited to get you back, to have you in my arms again and be able to kiss and touch and make love to you again. It was hell, Logan. I'm not going through it anymore. I'll make you forget all those other women, Logan. I'll make you clean again. I promise. Just let me, sugar," she told him passionately, her own tears and voice breaking._

_It did the trick, though because the next thing she knew Logan was kissing her fiercely and carrying her to the bed._

Logan forced himself to gentle his kisses and slow down after he took them down to the bed, his body covering hers. When he leaned back to look into her eyes she looked up at him with that smile reserved only for him. It was the one that made him feel like the most loved man in the world; like he was ten feet tall and would go up and hang the moon for her if she asked for it.

"I love you, Marie," he whispered hoarsely, his throat tight with emotion and his body thrumming with need for her.

Her eyes darkened and she pulled him down to her for a fierce, deep kiss hooking her legs around his waist to bring him even closer. Marie whispered into his mouth, "Now, Logan. I need you now."

"God baby," he groaned and looked into her eyes as he entered her slowly both of them shaking from the pleasure of it. They were together again, as close as two people could be and not knowing where he ended and she began. Nothing was ever gonna be better than making love to her. She was his mate, the mother of his children, his everything.

They moved together in timeless rhythm, the world around them narrowing to just the two of them. It was wild and primal this first time back together. Logan felt her nails claw into his back and knew his grip on her thighs and hips was gonna leave bruises on her. She wouldn't care, though. His baby was his match. She could take him slow and gentle or hard and fast and everyway in between. She was right. Those other women had nothing on her. This – her – was what he had been missing all these months alone, what he'd been trying so hard to fill and gotten absolutely nowhere.

Marie was in heaven. It had been too long, way too long. She had missed him more than she could ever explain in words. She had felt so lost without him, like half of her was missing and nothing was ever gonna be able to make feel whole again until he came home. But he was here now and so wonderfully deep inside her, her arms and legs wrapped around him tight and tasting his mouth and his skin, hearing his voice whispering to her and growling out her name, and breathing in his scent was heaven to her.

When she came it was so intense she had to bite his neck to muffle her scream and spots flashed in front of her eyes. Logan followed with a roar and she felt the long pulses of him emptying himself deep inside her as they held on tight to one another, their bodies shaking and sweaty and more satisfied than they'd been in months.

Afterward, they lay in each other's arms with Logan's head resting on her chest and her fingers idly running through his hair and up and down his back and shoulders, his arms wrapped around her and their legs tangled together.

"I don't wanna go back, Logan," Marie said breaking the silence after a while. He lifted his head to look at her curiously. She explained, "The X-Men. I don't wanna go back."

Logan nodded and lowered his head again. "I don't either," he admitted.

"They'll want you back," she pointed out quietly. "You're a valuable asset to the team."

"I don't give a fuck. I'm tired of being used. The only reason I joined the team and stayed there was because you were there and wanted to join up. You and the kids are all I care about. I almost lost you and our babies because of them. If Gumbo hadn't gotten that package to me then who knows when I would have gotten my memories back," Logan told her firmly. "Chuck can beg and plead for us to come back all he wants but I'm not going and neither are you. And our kids damn sure aren't getting dragged into it either. We'll be fine here. I'll get a job in town; maybe open a bike or auto shop or something. You can teach at the school. The people up here know us and like us. We don't need the X-Men. It's not worth it, baby."

She nodded. "I agree," she said with relief in her voice. He heard it and leaned back to look at her arching a brow in question. Marie smiled, amazed by how much he could say with just a facial expression, then sighed, "Sugar, I know how much you like fighting and the adrenaline and challenge of it all. It's a rush going on those missions. I know. But Logan, I -,"

Marie faltered, tears choking her voice, then let out a shaky breath and continued, "I thought I'd lost you. If I didn't have the kids around needing me to take care of them I don't know if I'd been able to handle it, Logan. I cried myself to sleep every night. I had to hide it from the kids. I couldn't let them see how much you not being here broke my heart. They needed to believe that you were okay, that we were okay and you were gonna come home. It was hardest on Jamie I think. You know how much he loves you, looks up to you. We've all missed you so much. I don't think you realize just how irreplaceable you are, sugar. I didn't know what to do without you. I worried about where you were, if you were okay. I even worried about you falling in love with someone else."

"No baby, that wouldn't ever happen," he insisted kissing her hard. His gaze was intense and steady when he pulled back to look at her. "No one could ever take your place for me, Marie. You're my mate. Even with those women I did – spend time with – it was never the same, not even close to what you and I just shared; what we've always shared. My body even rebelled on me a few times. I think I knew deep down it was wrong, it always felt wrong, but I couldn't remember why. Sometimes I tried to push at it, keep doing what felt wrong to shock some kind of memory or reaction and give me an explanation as to why it did but nothing came. It was like there was a hole inside me nothing I did could fill. It was you, baby; you and our children. I'll never be able to thank Remy enough for getting those pictures to me."

"What'd the Wolverine say about it?" she asked him curiously.

"About everything I did?" he asked and she nodded. "The same thing I did, that it was wrong. The animal was just as conflicted and lost as I was, baby. Whatever that explosion did to me, it messed me up good. The thing is, all these months apart could have been avoided if they'd just let you and the kids come see me when I woke up. Your scent and theirs and seeing all of you would have brought it back. At the very least the animal side of me would have known and remembered its mate and cubs. I'll be demanding an explanation from Chuck at some point but not right now. Now, I just want you and me to get back to where we were and to spend time with you and our babies. I'm tired of all the excitement to be honest, honey. Yeah, it was fun and a rush to go play superhero before but I didn't have anything else then. Now I have you and the family we've made. I don't need it anymore. I don't want it anymore. I just want my family."

"Me too, sugar," Marie kissed his forehead and then his mouth when he lifted his lips to hers. She grinned when she felt him grow hard against her again and then moaned when he shifted their bodies and slid inside her. "God, Logan."

"I know, darlin," he agreed as he breathed in the scent of her neck deeply while he began slow, deep thrusts. They kept it slow and steady that time but the end result was always the same intense, powerful climax they always experienced together. Afterward they slept peacefully and content wrapped up in each other.

The next morning Logan woke to the sound of his two eldest children whispering to each other from the foot of his and Marie's bed. He was on his stomach and thankfully covered up by the quilts with his face buried in his pillow. Turning his head slightly he cocked an eye open to look at where Marie should have been but he guessed she was already up because she wasn't there. His kids appeared to be arguing about whether or not to wake him up and what way to go about it. Finally he guess Gracie had had enough because he heard her huff at Jamie then felt her weight on the bed as she climbed up on it and walked up the middle. Logan wondered what she was doing until he felt her land hard on his back and made him grunt from surprise. She didn't weigh more than a feather but he hadn't been prepared for her to jump on him.

Then she started to bounce on him as she stood on his back and tell him in a sing-song voice, "Daddy, it's time to get up! Get up, Daddy! Time to wake up!"

Logan didn't move, though. She stopped when he didn't respond and called Jamie over who joined her on the bed as she stepped off Logan's back. He heard them whispering to each other again.

"It didn't work, Jamie," Gracie told her brother.

"Maybe you weren't loud enough," Jamie mused puzzled. He poked Logan's shoulder hard, "Daddy, wake up! Mama's making pancakes and told us to get you up!"

"Maybe we should both do it," Gracie suggested. "Daddy's tougher than Uncle Remy."

"Yeah," Jamie agreed. That was all the warning Logan got but he was prepared this time and he turned and caught them, one in each hand, just before they landed on him. The looks of shock on their faces were priceless. Gracie even let out a little scream in surprise.

Logan laughed and let them go leaning back on his elbows and raising a brow at them, "You two did that to Remy?" he asked them. They nodded.

"The morning he married Aunt Jubes," Jamie explained as he and Gracie settled down on Logan's sides and cuddled up to him. "He had a party the night before and Mama sent us in to get him up when he threw the alarm clock at Uncle Pete and it exploded. Uncle Pete said he'd never try to wake up Uncle Remy again. But Mama knew he wouldn't hurt us so she sent us in to do it."

"Your mama's a smart woman," Logan grinned and ruffled their hair hugging them close to him. "So we're having pancakes, huh?"

"Yep and Mama says you have to get up," Gracie told him. "You scared us, Daddy. That was mean."

"Sorry, baby," he laughed again and kissed her head. "Did you two sleep well, dream sweet dreams?"

"I did," Gracie nodded. "There was a puppy and lots of butterflies and we chased them around."

"That sounds like fun, pumpkin," Logan agreed. "What about you, chief?"

"I don't remember," Jamie shrugged indifferently. Then he grinned at him. "Can we go fishing today, Daddy?"

"It's February, Jamie and this is Canada," Logan pointed out. "The fish are under the ice right now. But we can go build a snowman or something. How's that?"

"Can we build a snow fort instead?" Jamie countered. Logan grinned and nodded.

"We sure can, we'll do both," he told him. Jamie grinned happy with the answer. "Now, you two go on down and let your old man get dressed. I'll be right there."

"Okay, Daddy," Jamie said bouncing off the bed and out the door. Gracie got up and followed him closing the door behind her.

When Logan came into the kitchen five minutes later in nothing but a pair of jeans and a wife beater, he found Marie at the stove cooking pancakes, bacon and eggs, Nicky in his high chair enjoying a bottle, and the two eldest sitting at the breakfast bar.

He gave the baby, Jamie and Gracie each a kiss on the top of their heads then went over to his wife, wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her bare shoulder from where the sleeve of her nightgown had slipped off. "Morning, darlin," he growled softly against her skin and loved the involuntarily shiver her body gave as it responded to him.

"You're evil," she muttered but turned and kissed him anyway before rolling her eyes in amusement at the wicked smirk on his face.

"Need any help?" he asked.

"Could you get the plates and stuff out, please?" Marie asked. He nodded and let her go to do just that.

"I sure can, baby," Logan set out their plates and utensils at the kitchen table and fixed some milk for the kids and coffee for him and Marie while she dished up their breakfast and took it to the table.

After a leisurely breakfast, the family got ready for the day before going out to play in the snow as Logan had promised. He and Jamie built a nice sized snow fort and a snowman that Marie and Gracie decorated while Nicky slept away his mid-morning nap inside. Then they made snow angels and had a snowball fight which ended in a stalemate because the kids couldn't decide whose side they were on and started throwing at everybody. It wasn't until they went inside for lunch and hot chocolate that they got the first phone call of the day, though.

As soon as it rang Logan and Marie's eyes met in a feeling of dread. Logan walked over and picked it up answering with a gruff, "Hello?"

"Wolvie! So you did make it huh, dude?!" Jubilee's excited voice sounded on the other end so loud that Logan had to hold the receiver away from his ear a second. "Remy was sure you would but I had to call and make sure. So how did it go? You get your marbles back?"

"Yeah, Yellow, I remember everything," Logan chuckled shaking his head. She never changed; still tactlessly honest. He appreciated that about her, though. "Is he there?"

"Yep, hold on," Jubilee shouted for Remy and then handed him the phone.

"Logan," Remy said calmly. "I take it everything went all right, homme?"

"Yeah, everything's back and I'm home with my family. Listen, I wanted to thank you for what you did. I don't know how long I'd have been out there if you hadn't," Logan said in the nicest tone he'd ever used with Remy.

They hadn't been the best of buddies when the Cajun first came to the X-Men. Remy had taken an interest in Marie at a time when she and Logan had just been starting out as a couple and it hadn't gone over well. Logan had been downright rude to him most of the time, picking at him and calling him Gumbo instead of Gambit. They'd even come close to blows a few times on missions or danger room sessions. Then Remy had been sideswiped by Hurricane Jubilation Lee and Logan and Marie had gotten married so it had all worked out.

"That's all right, Logan. I made her a promise and you belong with your family. What Xavier and the others did was wrong," Remy told him. "Jubilee and me are gonna come pay y'all a visit when we get back from Nice. We got a mission there. It might take a couple months so y'all might be back before we are."

"We're not coming back to New York, Remy," Logan told him. There was silence on the other end a moment then a resigned sigh.

"Yeah, I thought that'd be the decision," the Cajun admitted. "You know me and Jubes will back you two no matter what. I understand it. You got your chere and the babies to worry about and they came close to losing you for good this last time. Honestly, I don't know how long my chere and me are gonna keep at it either. She's been talking about babies and I don't want one of us to go through something like you and Rogue just did. We'll come see y'all when we get back, though."

"Thanks, Cajun," Logan said and Remy chuckled.

"Thank God, homme," he said. "I thought you were going all polite and Ruby*-like on me there for a minute. You using my given name is like a sign of the Apocalypse."

Logan laughed at that. "All right, Gumbo. You and the Firecracker be careful over there. It might be called Nice but the nightlife over there is anything but. And you know if you get in a bind you can always call us. We might be going back to the X-Men but there's not much we wouldn't do for you and Jubilee."

"I know," Remy told him sincerely. "Tell Rogue and the babies we said hi and give 'em our love."

"I will," Logan promised. They hung up then and he went back to the couch where Marie was feeding Nicky. "Gumbo and Yellow are going to France for a mission. They said to give us their love and they'll come see us when they get back."

"Did you tell them what we decided?" Marie asked. He nodded.

"He understood and I'm sure she will too but I doubt the others do," he told her. "We'll probably get bombarded with visits or calls until they get it through their heads that they can't change our minds."

She nodded and moved the baby to her shoulder to burp him. "I don't care. They can argue all they want to. I'm not gonna risk losing you again, Logan. It was bad enough that we didn't go on missions together anymore after we started having the kids. And it was mostly me that had to stay behind and worry about you when you went off with them. They treat you like a tool they can use to suit their purposes but I think we've learned that even if you can't be killed you can still be taken from us. So they and their cause can go to hell as far as I care."

"I agree, darlin," Logan leaned over and kissed her gently, "A hundred and ten percent. I've everything I could need or want right here in this house."

Marie smiled and rested her head on his shoulder when he wound his arm around hers. Logan rested his other hand on Nicky's back rubbing it gently and staring at his youngest son in awe. Marie looked over and saw Jamie and Gracie passed out from all the fun of the morning on the loveseat nearby. Yeah, she agreed, everything they needed they had right here.

*Ruby is a reference to Gambit character's nickname for Cyclops/ Scott Summers. The glasses you know? :)


End file.
